Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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