I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
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Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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