Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
