I CAN MOONWALK!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
