I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
