She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
