Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
