Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize