Girls should come with a carfax report
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize