What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize