Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My cat gives me a boner
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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