I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
