Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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