Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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