Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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