dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
