then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
