It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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