I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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