He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
