you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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