You work out of a Hotel?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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