those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
