i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
