U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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