I need help removing her.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
