If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
