She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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