so explain again why im purple
no
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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