that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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