Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
