He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
