so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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