Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sext me about skeletons
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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