went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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