You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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