I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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