O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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