She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
