considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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