there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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