my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
