oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
