she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
