i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
