Sry I called you an 8
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
