No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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