I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
