Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
