You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
