my mouth tastes like poor choices
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
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I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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