i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize