apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
