It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
