I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
