You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize