Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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