If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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