is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
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Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
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Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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