I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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