I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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