He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
