my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
