some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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