at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
