You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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