is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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